I’m Not Hysterical, I’m Just Having Hysterectomy

Well, I’m just few hours before the bid day. I’m listening Heavy Metal of the 80’s in my favorite radio station online (Kool Rock Radio). I’m not anxious or nervous, what bothers me until my bone is my teeth issue.

I called Dr Marko to tell her about my last visit to Dr Thompson….and she was expecting to check my pain, thing, of course, he didn’t do it. So, what I wasn’t expecting was the possibilities I have to do about this muscular pain: she said to go to see another specialist, to remove my wisdom tooth, to put a plastic thing on my tooth and so other things she said without even seen my bloody tooth. So, also, she added if I was experiencing more pain is because I was nervous because of my surgery, thing true. However, just that night I went to a pot luck at Church, a feast in support of aboriginal people. I ate like a pork…and pain disappeared for 2 days, the more I chew, the muscles, I think, get better, today I had a bit of pain and after to eat my last decent meal (vegetarian pizza) I feel great. This situation comes and goes, not funny of course but after surgery I’ll have to take more antibiotics and painkillers (good thing).

I went to see my therapist…It was funny because when she saw me she was writing on a paper and I said “but this is not therapy” , she said “I thought we meet because of that” I replied, “no, no, you said you wanted to see me”, “yes, because I got your Christmas present”. It was cute, she was clueless, and I was right, she brought me a big bag. The first thing I noticed was a little thing…it was a catnip!!! I loved it, and of course my cat too, she is now high!!!!. Also, she gave me a painting saying “Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things”. I really love my gifts…and there was a card with a little chocolate attached and what she wrote really touched me…” You’re too kind to me, I’m glad to have you in my life”. We were talking about my surgery (I cried), about my dad, my mom, the therapist’s family and her recent family lost. She looked sad and she’ll grief for a while until she readjust her concept of family and Christmas with family. I was happy to see her and to see the orchid I gave her last year was alive and blooming. She said I’d be in her prayers for my surgery.

Today I went to Church and the members of the caring committee were over me. Asking lots of questions and giving me more advises for tomorrow. The Minister called me saying he’ll pray for me, to be honest I thought we wasn’t that religious because he’s Unitarian but who cares, he was kind. He also asked me to write something about me for the introduction to the congregation, since I’m a new member. I sent him what I wrote in my blog in the section “About”, he loved and he said it was the funniest thing he read in long time.

Now, let’s be serious. Last time I had surgery I was 9 years old, my tonsils were pulled out. I remember my father, who worked at the hospital in the accounts payable section (just the same section I work in my office here in Canada), he knew all the doctors and they allowed him to go to the surgery floor. I remember he was wearing his Summer uniform, I was in stretcher, we crossed one revolving door, I saw the fluorescent lights on the ceiling, we crossed another door and in the third floor, somebody told him “this is sterilized zone you can’t cross” and, as in the movies, I saw my dad’s image disappear behind the revolving doors…then “one, two, three” two nurses put to another stretcher or table. The anesthesiology was looking for my vain…I cover it with my other hand, another nurse pulled my arm back and I saw a needle with a green cross shaped cap. Then…”count until 10″ and the now even I said one and the lights were off for me.

Tomorrow dad won’t be there, nobody but me. I’m feeling I’m a real adult.

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