My new office sucks….This is the first time after my menopause I feel down and really depressed. It’s a little office in one corner. All my colleagues have windows, in fact, that zone is so shinny that some offices have stalls. But mine, in this short corner, the light doesn’t come, the wall is dark red, like Shiraz wine. Plus, there’s a camera on the top, I know that points the exit but it can move anywhere. Since I’m close the telephone booth, my corner is so in the corner that the wall in front of me doesn’t let see anybody and anybody sees me. No good morning, no hello, just invisible. I felt so guilty that I didn’t want to leave my little plant today. I just brought it here at home.
I couldn’t stand the situation and I had to spoke to my manager who’s acting in other position. I explained about my mini boss who, in theory, was supposed to be in charge, didn’t move a finger, I was checking and controlling, verifying if everybody had boxes. He was going outside, drinking coffee and being def and blind about it. I said to the boss that I was feeling bullied, because he was supposed to give me charge, I mean, job, invoices and all the things you do in a finance office. I did everything alone, I was proud of my job and the rest of the people was just…how can I say it?….they took it for granted. The boss said he was sorry and I wasn’t the only person who complained about it. He promised “you got my word you’ll have more finance work when I’ll be back”….My opinion….dead letter. I mean, once he told that jerk to give me job and never did…now, he will tell another person or supervisor to give job to me….I don’t believe this will happen. Why? There’s been cuts, people fire and there another one coming after Christmas. They protect their jobs, they don’t want to train another person potentially “dangerous”. Good intentions….plus, I got surgery in January and I’ll be out of the market for a while.
I was a bit better today, I was kind of sick and depressed for all the changes so positive. My friend in France suggested to make cut my hair because it was long. I went to a place the haircut is cheap…so the cuts aren’t astonishing. I went around 6, there was nobody, good for me, that means fast. I grabbed a book with haircut styles when a woman with a strange accent say “you can come here” I said surprised “now?”. I went with the book and asked her for other books since the models were not my style. I found the masculine very cool and hot but. She started to talking to me asking me about my hair, my Christmas preparations and I asked her where she was from…she is Russian. She told me that she worked in a paper factory, that Perestroika was hard, everything stopped. She spoke with her brother who was is Siberia and the weather was -51. She told me that it wasn’t that cold because it wasn’t that humid. I was impressed about the way she told me about the war in Georgia after the USSR disappeared…”every war is cruel” she added. She explained me a bit that in Russia in the Communist years, religion was forbidden but people celebrated at home. “New year” was the best holiday of the year. I liked the way she was touching my hair, it was relaxing. Again I realized people who touched like Sarah my physiotherapist and this hairdresser, indirectly, are paid for “special human touch” . The price is 17.99$, waiters and hairdressers receives tips. I paid in total 22$. She said” thank you” and gave a discount coupon. I said “I hope to see you again”. “Have a wonderful holidays” she replied.
Was the cut nice? Not at all, my hair has the same shape as before just shorter…but talking to her and feeling that human touch over my hair was priceless and tender. Fake to my emotions…I miss a woman in my life.