It’s Sunday night…Moby “Hotel” cd#2 is playing (chill out). If you have family or friends you can gather with them, talk to them, call them or text them…but not me. Not tonight. So far, I have no luck with that and I think is fine in the short run…in the long one could kill me or at least put me down or blue. But tonight, I just want to share this little short week, since it was holiday last Monday here in Canada (Remembrance Day).
After the exam, I had no energy at all. I drank a Capuccino (of course with caffeine on it) when I almost thought I finished my caffeine rehab for 2 or 3 months and then the beer with my Swedish friend…bad combination…I couldn’t sleep that night and the next one. As consequence I had a horrible migraine…and the only thing that gets me better in a situation like this is vomiting. Which I did at the bathroom at work. I threw up 3 times. I felt better then but super weak. I had class that night and I ate an ice cream…suddenly one of my tooth bothered me…I got panic, not because I don’t like dentists or pain but….the invoice!!! I heard horror stories about that. Here in Canada is expensive…well, I go tomorrow. But the point of this post in not really that. I called to my insurance company and I found out I got dental care that will pay 90% of my future treatment. At least, 1700$ during 1 year, let’s cross fingers and see I got nothing serious but a cavity or gingivitis. But still, that’s not the point of the post either.
This week I had a break of studies and rent some movies, most of them very bad like “The Loop”, other with several mix good intentions and bad results like “Red” but finally I got a jewel that was showed me a very sad reality …I watched “Southern Comfort” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276515/ I strongly recommended you to watch it. It’s the story of Robert Eads http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Eads , a FTM (female to male) transsexual in Georgia, the heart of KKK as he defined itself. You maybe think is just a documentary about a bunch of trannies…but is not at all. Robert did the transition in his 40’s. He asked the doctors to do a total hysterectomy but they said because he was getting closer to menopause that it wasn’t necessary. Years passed…and one day he woke up in a pool of blood. His sister called to several hospitals…he was turned down for 2 dozens of doctors…because he “will ashamed the office and hospital”. As you can imagine in Georgia, small town where Rob used to live was hell on earth asking for medical care. Finally he was accepted at Medical Hospital of Georgia, he had cancer in the cervix that expanded to all uterus…too late to received treatment. He said at some point of the documentary:“The last part of me that’s female, and it’s killing me,” he was right. Then you see other transsexual friends involved, you see the close ties between them. He got involved in a relationship with Lola Cola, a MTF (male to female) trans, you see love in their eyes, you see Lola taking care in Robert’s last days…the last year of his life is presented in the documentary in parallel with the seasons… Winter was the end.
The movie made me think and rethink several things and issues, some of my life, some of the society in general. Rob felt trapped in his female body as I feel. I got in terms with my body, and to be honest, I always thought been transsexual could have been a good option to me. But living in Peru, you don’t have to be a psychic to know the hell, the embarrassed for family and all the big changes…When I saw Rob was turned down health care…rejected in hospital broke my heart, I almost cried, well, now some tears are blocking my vision while I type. I never and I don’t think I’ll do a transition….I show and pay all my respect and hats off for all who did it, who are dealing with that or who finally made it and struggle in a daily life. Geography can help to make things better or worse.
When you’ll see the documentary, pay attention to the very first words he said…I found he had a kind of wisdom and maturity…despite what they did to him…he had no hard feelings. The film was made in 2001, we’re 2012 and some things have changed, and unfortunately, some other won’t change…I got hope in this new Obama’s mandate, I expect more, at least more humanity and dignity. After watching this, I just looked at the mirror, I looked myself and I thanked to have dental care…and some others, more intelligent, or more educated or I don’t know, some other with less opportunities than me, don’t have it and they’re still fighting for that human right, vital and important.
The movie explores the plastic surgeries performances, some done not very well, like trying to leave a scar to identify them as “different”, not even second class citizens…so hard, so unfair, really unreal, really real. It was amazing the final product of this documentary made with low budget but the puzzles pieces were in the right place.
At the end, Lola Cola, Robert’s girlfriend, says:”Nature delights in diversity. Why don’t human beings?” .The question is still open…WHY?