How To Be A Lesbian Immigrant For A Second Time: Welcome to Ontario

Ok, ok, ok, I haven’t written anything about my gayness for a while. I’m to busy and absorbed for many events like the moving, papers, my knee and health in general.

Today I called sick at work, I knew it would take me a day long finishing the Ontarian papers. My master plan, initially was: go to 2 garages and pass the safety  and pollution test, both required when your car must be registered in a different province. After, change the driver licence from Quebec to Ontario, then buy the plates and finally get my insurance car. Without mentioning process my health care card.

So, the plan had several twists, misunderstandings and rage. I woke up early, I took the highway (a.k.a. 417 Trans-Canada highway) and it was the 3rd time I took it, since I’m kind of new in those matters. I arrived minutes before 8 am and I went for the pollution test. I was invisible for the front desk girl. The team were dressed in black. One guy without saying hi or whatever asked me for my keys. I feel totally uncomfortable when somebody takes my baby away. I didn’t see the car inside the garage but I heard an awful noise and I didn’t want to see either what was going on the back. 15 min later and after paying 35$ I got my certification. I went to the other garage which is just beside this one and there after waiting like 20 min. another mechanic asked for my keys again. It was 8.20am. I was exploring in the meantime that part of Vanier, a famous neighborhood for its criminality. I saw the car, almost hidden in the back of that garage too. Around 9 am the owner came, driving a Lexus car. I was waiting outside, it was warm, crossing my finger for the car and no having any trouble. The owner told me it was ok and I had to pay 90$ (long live to my golden credit card). He told me I had to go down the road I came and do the drivers licence exchange. Guess what, I took that road but I went to the very opposite direction. Me, without GPS….come on, not because I’m gay and I feel like a boy it means that I’m good with my sense of orientation. Well, I had my itinerary written and I typed again the real address I should have headed. There there was that kind of plastic machine that gives numbers, I got the 88, I checked the screen and they were at 68. It wasn’t not even 10am. I said to my self “woow good timing”. Too early to have said that, the number were passing in slow motion the 2 girls in the front desk were talking about vacations and other metaphysical things. A woman besides me was telling the same, after talking to her a couple of times she gave another number the by mistake she took, now I was 86. Almost 1 hour later, it was my turn. I have to pass vision exam. I was so tired and I say little numbers that I had to think twice, I saw numbers in Spanish so I had to translate in French, numbers in 3 different sizes, I was lucky with the last line.I gave my QC licence and after signing some papers I paid 75$. A temporary driver license was printed.So, done, and I said “well time to buy the plates”

When I arrived to Ontario Services, where all immigrants go to peregrinate in order to feel stamped, labeled and billed, the service was faster because there were like 6 employees working like crazies.

I man with an awful earning was in front of me. I said I wanted the Ontario Health Card, I showed him the form and he asked me for a residence proof. I gave him the temporary license and he didn’t accept, I gave him the bank account statement printed online, he didn’t go it, a letter which was sent to me, not accepted. He wanted something send to me to my address like utility bill or the lease (but my lease hasn’t the address on it). So, no health card. Ok, ok, ok, let’s try plates. He didn’t accept pollution or safety certification. He asked for the insurance papers. I said the insurance asked me for plates in order to that pass. He insisted that wasn’t the way. I was lost. After saying A and he saying B, I said I will be back with a temporary policy.

In the food court (if you can call that food court since there 3 fast food restaurants) of that mini-mall where Ontario Services office, there was a Lebanese spot. So, I said “‘I’m going to try here the potatoes and garlic sauce” since the other place, where the cd warehouse is sucked. The portion was ok, the sauce was a bit weird, kind of ….I don’t know, not consistent like the molecules were divorced and they didn’t wanted to be together anymore. I paid almost 4$ and I ate there….it was good! but the sauce looks awful but it was good. New potatoes spot, even if my criteria of aesthetic was accomplished.

I went home to call the insurance company who quoted the cheapest I could find, 1450$, I know it’s expensive for a year but all the other companies were asking over 2000$ even 3000$. When I called the guy he wasn’t there and I left a message. The owner of the company called me back, explaining me the I needed the insurance first, a pink paper before doing all paperwork. When I told her about my years driving and after checking my quote she said “it’s impossible you got 1450$, Gary is in training, probably he did something wrong” Oh my God. The world stop spinning… At that moment I wanted to scan other documents but my printer was working, so I had to desinstall and reinstall the program and because it’s wireless to reconfigure with the new internet signal, it took me like 45 min and I had to restart the computer. Gary sent me an email and was asking me for more papers and after 1 hour he said….”sorry, we can’t give you that quote”.

I was furious but that’s nothing compare what it was to come. I found a post-it with another Hydro Ottawa account. I made a call to customer service and I asked, just curiosity, if, only if, there was a mistake. And bingo. The number I gave correspond to the same address but different apartment, that was apart 14, and I live in the 13!!! So, there was another account for the 13, I mean, the right one. The woman put me in hold for 15 min, until the problem “was solved”, I mean, I hope. So, I don’t know if #14 will receive an invoice under my name with a different amount. And I will received the right one the end of July. GRRRRRRRR I wanted to kill somebody.

I was doing some research online about quotes. Again, all over 2000$ I left some messages, I sent several emails….I have to wait until tomorrow to see what they say.

I’m driving a QC licensed car with a temporary Ontarian license (the office took my QC license), looking for an insurance. Correction: I should say, I’m driving a QC licensed car, with a QC photocopy driving license, looking for an Ontarian insurance.

I went to school tonight with my piss off face. The teacher noticed and asked, I said everything…and she wished me something better. I just said “thank you, but I hate to feel a second time immigrant, lost and naive, not having anybody to ask how to do things. I go to to ask for help, I hate that”.


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