Mirrors

Monday, every Monday there a special zombie caravan that goes to the office. For me it’s equal Monday or Friday. It’s well know in the public service of Canada, lots of employees get sick on Mondays-Fridays. I prefer being sick on Wednesdays. At least that’s my plan for this week. I got papers to do for my car and I’ve been procrastinating, specially the equivalence of my license drivers, in order to have my plates, in order to have the Ontarian insurance car. And also, I need to get inspected the car, 2 test has to be done, one of pollution and the other I think is something of safety or if the car is doing well. To do all that, it will take me one complete day.

I also made the appointment for my X-rays and scanner. The receptionist told me they don’t accept the Quebec insurance card, I said it was ok, that I’d pay and she said “cash or cheque” woooow. No credit card. I think for the car I’ll use my credit card but this week money will run out like a menstruation of money. I got the tenant insurance that will pass the 15th, internet bill will be a week later. I’m thinking to buy an Ontarian cellphone with Koodo, they got cheap plans for 25$ I think is ok for my needs, right now I’m paying like 40$ with Fido prepaid card.

Well, I wanted to start this post not with plans or open budget plans for this week but with the mirror at the elevator. Every day, I have to 1 of the 3 elevators, 1 is out of order. There are like long rectangular mirrors. Every time I look into them, I see my reflection, obviously, but I see my hair. Geeeeezz, I look like piano keyboard, white stripes over the black ones. And there’s always one just  falling like a porn star in front of my forehead, a white thick hair. I got like 5 seconds before reaching the 5th floor where I work, I look at it and I pull it out. And that happens at least 4 times per week. No worries, I’m still have work to do for a couple of months.

Yesterday, after chatting with my French friends, that means after 5 pm, I was alone at my apartment, I was feeling anxious, I got nervous, so I decided to call my Swedish friend but she wasn’t there. So I tried to read the Data Management book, because I got an exam the 18th, I was concentrated at all. The only thing in my mind was, to prepare all documents for health care and driving license and my knee. Also, I got enough to be alone, but because of my knee I can’.t do any physical activity or do something social without walking to much. I was crying not only for all that situation but because I’m in fact alone, no family, no friends nothing!. I miss talking about everything or nothing, and after moving this situation is getting worse.

I  rented the movie Man on Wire from the library, very good documentary about the crazy French guy who went into the World Trade Center (in 1974) and walked in the wire he put illegally and clandestine between the 2 towers. That kept my mind busy I could sleep later, but I’m trying to wake up at 6 and not at 4 or 5 am. Bad habit I took when I was living in Hull. I woke up earlier because leaving earlier was easy to pass the bridge that connect Ottawa-Gatineau. If you’re not that lucky enough you spent like 30 min. also, if you arrive after 8am at the office you won’t find any parking available here, just at the 4th floor parking area.

I’m not sleeping as well as I should, too much stress for several things. I’m getting older every time I see my hair in the mirror, I don’t know, time to talk to my therapist? how to make real friends? how to socialize? I’ll explain you later what I did yesterday afternoon later.

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