Last night I loaded the car with 2 plastic furniture and 4 boxes, a college helped to move them at lunch time. The apartment in Hull is looking a bit desert but still the ugly boxes/bags are visible. For instance, the apartment in Ottawa looks empty, could be this apartment is bigger than I have right now? Distribution is different. When my college saw my place said ” it’s a little nice place” Little? Excuse-me? Well, he lives in a house with his parents and brothers, he’s 25 and getting married in October, he’ll live after with his in-law. So, he never had experience with roommates or living alone. This “little” apartment for the Ottawa standards costs me 825$ all included, heat, water and parking, electricity I have to pay. It’s not that bad, knowing that in downtown you can find cheaper but parking can cost you between 50$ and 100$, or sometimes parking in the street (you must pay also for that). It would have been cheaper Vanier, but it’s famous for criminality and a strange fauna there. I didn’t reply to my college, we’ll live a strong experience looking for an apartment when he and his future wife will leave by themselves outside her parents’ house.¸
I had therapy and my therapist birthday was at the beginning of June, so I bought her a bunch of nice flowers, a bottle of Californian Shiraz wine and a cookie fortune. She was happy, that’s what I love the most about her, with the simplest things, she’ll be glad. We talked about how scared I was when I received my keys Tuesday.
That Tuesday I moved some clothes. When I finished cleaning and unpacking I looked through the window….and strange sensation came to me. An old souvenir. Suddenly, I was having the same fear that my very first time in Canada, when I landed in Montreal. I remember looking through the window, looking to Laurier West Ave. thinking “this is another country” . They were speaking French, they were going to work, to school, waiting for the bus etc etc etc. I remember hours later I forced myself to go out. I felt the exact feeling in my Ottawa apartment. I just wanted to unpack my things a leave direction Hull. I was telling that to my therapist. She was more excited about my move, about my courage, and she was happy, and somehow, she was proud of me. All changes are scary, all changes challenge you unknown risks. She knew as I knew I wanted so badly move to the capital. I was stressed with the moving but she made me realize that in fact, I’m moving already, damn, mommy knows better. And she knows I look at her as a mother.
It’s almost 10 pm, I’m doing my last laundry here, I got 2 cold bags on my knee, I’m typing because I need to share this. The car is already loaded with at least 9 boxes, sometimes I wake up at 5 am, if I do that tomorrow I’ll drive and deliver them early. After I’ll have a super breakfast at Tim Horton’s. The washing machine cycle is done….time to dry my clothes. Time to sleep. Thanks mom therapist for being there.