As Time Goes By

It’s 8.45 pm in Hull, QC, I just finished some other boxes…I left this morning the apartment because I couldn’t bare see the mess it is right now, bags, boxes, food, cleaning, the cat totally crazy and my with my only joy since yesterday, my RCA RS2181I Audio System with Universal iPod Dock, a toy that brand new can cost over 100$. I found it in a second hand store for just 35$. (Funny, it has the Ipod thing and I don’t have one, not planning to have to, on the contrary, dreaming of a Android Samsung but probably in 4 months). It works perfectly and here in my bed, while typing, my cat in the left corner of the mattress (because I don’t have a bed) I’m listening a jewel that I bought by curiosity: Brian Ferry, “Time Goes By” a collection of jazz themes….fabulous, and with a incredible quality sound.

The soundtrack is perfect for the my movie: foggy, raining day of Summer. The mess is visible, but despite all the horror can be the preparations and consequences, I’m happy to move and leaving Quebec. If am I ready? I think nobody is 100% prepared for big changes, we assume it’s going to be tough and exciting at the same time, but the proportion or magnitude of those decisions we have no idea in the short or long term. I know I’m taking the right decision, it’s just it’s a bit scary…well, more than scary…..Brian is singing “when somebody thinks you’re wonderful….” what a moment to listen to that phrase. Some people considered me courageous. Sometimes you don’t have choice, well, I had, to stay in Quebec, but I wasn’t feeling totally happy, and people around me, no matter how hard I tried to fit, I never did. And I never told them I was gay (come on, doesn’t look like? I look  so dyke) I’m not saying I’m going to fit in Ottawa, but I have already contacts, which, believe me, it’s a huge progress!!! I know more people here than in my 5 years in Montreal. Great people who help me and listen to me. Again, all immigrants, my friend from Sweden and a couple from Germany. The solidarity with immigrants is always present. As I said in my previous post, native Canadian are most family thing, you can belong to their circle only if you lived among them since you can be inserted in society, that means, since kindergarten. And because I arrived in this land at 30, getting in track was more an accident than an insertion.

If you have time to check online, or Grooveshark this Brian Ferry’s album, no matter what you’re doing right now, it will put you a special smile, a special ambient in a dark day, or stressed Sunday.

Sundays, since I was a teenager, was the moment of sunsets through my window, listening music of the 80’s and dreaming to have a wonderful woman beside me, doing nothing but enjoying the orange-red sun agonizing in the edge of the wooden window in a dysfunctional home in Peru.


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