The title of this post is related a question which was made by a college of mine at work. For people who doesn’t know me very well, I moved from Montreal 2 years ago looking for a job at the government. To be honest, when I moved to this country it was because my ex is Quebecquer. So after the split I was feeling stack in this country. Years later I got the citizenship, the Canadian passport, my first apartment, my car but no friends or love life, or at least a minimum that would look like it.
Hull is cheaper in comparison of Ottawa. Cheap, food, groceries,insurance, services, but I can’t stand anymore being surrounded by them. I don’t know, never like it, and it is not a political position, Leaving at the border of two provinces, being immigrant, no land, no family or friends whatsoever, changed my point of view of “being different” “being outsider” “being second class citizen”. Being a woman, a lesbian, an immigrant, a minority, alone can be perturbing to the others. When I was in Montreal I was considered exotic, people was curious about me and my background. In general, the Montrealer is curious food person. A cultural introduction of oneself its food tradition. In Ottawa, everything is politically correct. I was ignored, well, I was feeling ignored, nobody cared I was a serial killer from Jupiter with HIV or if I was married to my laptop. It took me time to realize that’s the “education of respect” towards somebody you don’t know. As it’s also said Canadians don’t care very much about each others, which is partially true (70% true). In both sides the culture of “space” , nobody can enter there, your personal space.
In QC this philosophy is a bit flexible, just a bit, still the circle is composed of family, and ex’s, yes, your ex is a vital part of your life. In Ontario, family is enter of everything. Since in QC, the level of divorces is highest and also the rate of marriages is the lowest, family is rare component to find, I mean, after a divorce, people live together or live simply alone. In Ontario is very common to find families, husband and wife, children living outside on their own. Also, people get marry here. That was a shock when I came to Gatineau and to see that big difference. Nobody marries in Montreal.
However, the Suburgatory or Suburb life is the common denominator in Ottawa. Which there’s nothing wrong about it, it’s just considered by the Montrealer standards as BOOOOORINNNNNGGGGG. In Montreal specially, the night life, the Peter Pan complex, have fun, dress as young man/woman and avoid troubles having kids, enjoy your 1 per-year-trip to Cuba for drinking and having pleasure in the swimming pool.
I realize the family Ottawa life-style of weekend bbq’s, discussion about kids at school, day care dramas, could be considered by a Quebecquer as allergic for its standards….boring too, and pathetic. Losing your youth….for them youth finish at late 40’s. For Ontarians, it’s almost a law, to be in couple and prepare everything for the marriage.
Also, I realize everybody is in couple in Ottawa, and living together, but not necessary because of love but because sharing invoices is less painful, living here is expensive.
Conclusion: since I’m moving to Ottawa, and I’m single, knowing the city is expensive….I need a girlfriend, eh?
However, it doesn’t answer the question why I’m leaving Hull. I’m getting older, closer to the big 4, so, something deep inside of my is claiming to live other life, in another way, to build my own family, to find friends, to be more optimistic, to be positive as my therapist would say….time to change, time to grow up and not be afraid of.