Dominatrix

Hello world, that means the 3 people who read this blog. It’s been a while, a very long while since my last post. What happened? Well, I was quite desperate looking for a car. It took me like 3 weeks since I found one, not the Santa Fe, I found like 2 in bad shape. My lesbian friends recommended me a place where the owner, an old mechanic was just specialized in Toyota. So, since a RAV 4 is too expensive and my piggy bank is anorexic I chose Matrix, which the fun thing about it is you can fold the back seats and you got a lot of space, like for 4 corpses. You can sleep there, honestly. This car is from 2005 and 70,600 km on it was just perfect, plus, stick. It’s been like 1 year I don’t drive and 9 years I don’t touch a stick car. Driving was a bit awkward but I figured it out quickly. I won’t lie, when I drove the first time alone I was sweating, my legs were trembling and I called to my dad saying “I’m scared”. Of course, I was, plus, 2 days later I went to a shopping center and guess what, in the parking when I was trying to leave (in reverse) I hit a car, well, I bumped it, not so hard, no marks on mine or that car….but I felt totally criminal. I left the parking lot, happily nobody saw me because it was 8.10 am in the morning….what an idiot I can be…so since then, that means 1 week ago, I park very far from other cars. A friend of mine was laughing at me saying…”remember, the John Lennon’s birthday was the first time you hit a car!” She was right.

Parking is just a nightmare, since my driving lessons were 1 year ago, I just watched some videos on You Tube to remember some tips…till now, I’m scare of parking lots. I guess I need to practice, not in Québec side, where people can be really aggressive. I should go to Ontario side. Well, I did last Sunday, it was nice driving and get lost….despite I got a GPS not everything is simple. I’m a girl after all!!!!

Do you know what I did when I picked the car? The first place I went to was my ex-bitch apartment. She lives in a horrible condo, sourrounded by several condos in a street full of condos…that place’s name is condomaniacs…people who live there lived before in Montreal and the only way of living for them is to buy a shoebox and call it home. Most of them are people who always lived in apartments and think and blinded believe is cheaper and better than buying a house. So, let’s go back to what I did. I put her address in my GPS, I followed the indications, well, I tried, I got lost but the GPS again did a nice job. I arrived at her place….I tried to park the Dominatrix, remember, I just took it a couple of hours ago, it was Friday, traffic was frantic but I arrived, I parked totally horrible, I said to myself, to go and check what car she had…so, when I left the car, I was wearing a cap and I went to the parking and suddenly she went out to her balcony (and I realized she didn’t have a BBQ, I got one!). She was wearing sunglasses and holding a coffee cup, she took weight and when I saw her I got nervous, clueless and I panicked…I took my cellphone I got in my pocket and I pretended somebody called me….and I came back to the car. There, I was checking her, she was looking at the car, probably for the horrible parking way and I saw she was smoking a cigarette, that’s why she was in the balcony. She seemed very stressed, as if she was waiting for somebody not very pleasant….weird…usually you aren’t stressed on Friday but Monday. She went inside and my soul came back to my body.

I took the car and went to my place…still shaking about the crazy thing I did. But why did I do it? Simply, my problem is I can’t help to compare myself. So, I wanted to know if she, despite her big salary was better than me…and I see I don’t have a huge salary but still I got health and doing things slowly, very slowly.

At work, things seems very strange, nobody talks to me or gives things to do. I’m invisible and it hurts… I can’t quit because of the car and I sent papers to the embassy in order to invite my father to come to visit me. I have to wait like 2 more weeks for those morons determinate my dad, with his 77 years, won’t try to stay here in Canada as an illegal.  Some human beings are just incredible.

I’m still waiting for news of jobs. I applied I don’t know how many times, I had an interview 2 weeks ago and nobody said any single word about it, that means I’m out, right? Maybe, maybe not, the worst part is I have to wait…not fun.

I got Dominatrix, I’m still trying to tame it…I scratched it the door when I was leaving the parking…I wanted to kill somebody… but it’s just some lines, nothing serious, not nice but still…I feel free and at the same I’m scared of my own freedom or the possibilities Dominatrix gives me that right. I’m still nervous behind the wheel but I guess I will pass….I miss my father, he was a good driver and he taught me how to drive stick. I call him almost every night telling him my car drama…and he laughs…and he’s proud…

Dominatrix is silver and I don’t feel like the Lone Ranger.

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