Marketing: Art Selling Things You Don’t Need With Money You Don’t Have

Today was Ontario’s Day, so, day off for all workers. As I live in Quebec side all business were open. After procastinating  for 3 weeks my car research I decided to visit some concessionaires. One of paradoxes of buying a car is even when you look for a car you need a car. I had 2 options Hyundai Santa Fe, not Tucson anymore or Toyota RAV4. Both of them are SUV and big. I don’t want a SUV because I’m gay or because a big truck means a big dick, it’s just I’m planning to move and probably I’ll move more often as I think, so, I need space, in consecuence, the car must be big enough to transport at least 6 corpses. So, Santa Fe is a good option, huge trunk, the interior is not so hot but still, good for me. I stopped at Hyundai dealer…and old woman around 56 (but in her business card you bless God for Photoshop’s invention) grabbing her coffee came to me asked me if I needed something. Sure, I needed a car. I asked about pros and cons between Tucson and Santa Fe, cylinders, gas etc. A new one cost 31 000$, payable in 5 years  you will pay $525 per month. I asked about old models like 2009 or before, she said the interest is 7% and a new one is 0%. So, I found it very higher, both. I asked to all posibilities, 4 or 6 cylinders, warranty, tires…and finally I asked if I could drive one. She agreeded…First time in life I drove a new car. It was being in a spaceship, huge but smooth, it wasn’t stick but I enjoyed the small trip. We went up and down for almost 20 minutes…I felt the car was running so sweet, so good, the engine was good, not so strong as a Jeep but enough for moving my things. She was explaining me about the fact if you plan to move heavy stuff 6 cylinders would be better….a good seller, trying to sell things I don’t need, but I appreciated her explanation. I spent like 1 hour there, asking her about the payment, bank, plate, almost everything. I confess I was confused when I left. Trying the car, seing the price but I was sure with my salary it would posible but hard to pay the car.

Next victim: Toyota dealer. I went directly to the door when I saw people given away hot dogs…well, Summer I guess, but no, it was the special cheap day for cars. I went straight ahead for a RAV4, a fake blonde asked me if I wanted to talk to a seller, of course…and another fake blonde came. The price for new one, in this special day was of 23 00$, that per month, during 5 years means $432, still expensive. When I asked about a RAV4 2009 she didn’t want to tell me the price the only thing she stressed was “but is not new”. So, the visit was very short, less than 30 minutes, and I couldn’t test the car because of policy in this special day. More confused than before, I left and not without asking a hot dog and a 7 Up. Free food is always welcome.

I went to bus stop I called my friend in Germany to ask her opinion…after I left a message to my friend in Montreal to guide me in these issues. On the bus, I was feeling dizzy with prices, one day only special price, saying to myself Toyota is a good option but price is higher, sure cheaper than Hyundai but still higher. I was thinking in those fake blondes, high heels, polish cars, tanned fake skins, trying to selling me happiness on 4 wheels.

Before going home, I stopped to my neighbour house I rang and at 11 am, half slept, he opened the door. I told him about my dilema. He saw the prices and took off his IPhone, used the calculator option and crashed my fake steal dreams. “If you buy a new car forget buying a house in 5 years” He was right, I used to work with him in finance. He made some calculs and the price was to high, both have the same salary. I was like talking to my older brother, this Moroccan guy, like most arabs, knows about money business. He said…”prepare yourself, I’ll show you more small dealers in Ottawa” In 5 minutes I changed my clothes, we jumped on his 1997 Jeep, which is falling apart, and we went to Ottawa. Smooking, talking about the bloody big dealers. We went I don’t know where but we stopped at least in 6 places, just one was opened….the guy was an arab guy also…he was selling a Jeep 2003 at 7 000$, and my friend was headbanging his head, he felt in love of that car…I couldn’t find a Hyundai, but there was a Mazda….a huge one: Tribute, too big… he had nice cars, Toyota Corolla under 10 000$, good shape…when we went to ask about prices he was smooking his shisha (water-pire for smooking).

After that, I was a bit hungry and this time I said fuck up Pesto sandwich and I bought KFC, junk food is good time to time. Sometimes Ottawa surprises me a lot. In front of this KFC there was a motel, like in the horror movies where serial killers kidnap young girls…this one looked like one of 70’s but the tenants, I mean not clients but tenants were all black people, dressed in traditional African clothes. They were refugees. The government pay those places for them. It was shocking, police cars where around that place. It was like watching that documentary “God grew tired of us”…it was sad and I realized my situation despite being immigrant is good.

The search for Hyundai Santa Fe will continue, next week probably but tomorrow at job will be a hard day. Let’s see what happens and what cards must say about it.

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2 thoughts on “Marketing: Art Selling Things You Don’t Need With Money You Don’t Have

  1. 6 cylinders to move 6 corpses? 🙂 can’t you get a smaller car and pay someone with a truck to move your stuff when you shift the corpses?

  2. Well, after living 6 years in Canada, the DIY culture showed me I should be able to shift the corpses by myself without any kind of help 😛
    Kidding, I need espace, that’s all.

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