Confidential Waste

It’s been almost a week I’ve been working at the Tribunal. It was the most shocking thing I have ever experienced in my life. I must admit I had lot of expectations, well, not much, because I knew it would be shitty…but not so shitty.

It was like going back to the past when I started in Montreal in the other tribunal. First, the first. The manager told me to come at 9 am. which I did. It was nervous, very nervous, and when I took the elevator, I went to 15th floor…a nice tall guy saw coming and obviously saw me lost. He opened the door and I told him I was the new employee. He showed me the entrance of the registrar. It was just weird, the moment I always I was waiting for was already disappointing. I saw a plate with my name written on in, in a silver surface with the others employees name’s. The guy I met was from the mailroom. He just swiped his card to open the door….to the office.

What a slap in the face!!! I looked more than a printing section of a small factory. Paper, boxes, an industrial photocopies machine, files, big files…. a mess. Looking around I found my office, it’s in an open space, not much privacy because it’s for a clerk, support, they make you feel real support. I girl who is  on of the officers I will work with it, a bit fatty, smiling every time was explaining me and showing me the area. The guy from IT also came to set up my computer. What a surprise, I’ve already have an email account. Usually can take 2 days an account be created. After being working 2 years as a contractor for the government it was the first time I saw a different telephone.

After that first shock, the girl showed the other 3 floors the Tribunal has. Where I work was the registrar office, the other floor is the research section, a fancy place, elegant, very lawyer style. She was introducing me all staff, till now I don’t remember any name but Reagan, a lawyer who speaks (or crash) Spanish, a very nice guy, with a funny sense of humour.

But I don’t know why I feel I don’t fit there. I was totally lost, moving in every floor. I went to the Inhuman Resources floor, there was the fat and nice woman, the assistant who I had to pass the test. At the point I wanted to leave, maybe, not to go to my cubicle. I didn’t want to see the hearing rooms…I did, well, I don’t know, I don’t feel the same love I felt when I was in Montreal.

My first day, I asked to another girl when will be my training….and she said, “this is your training” …I had to make photocopiers, I mean, tons, like 10 kits, of around 2oo papers, plus to make holes and put them in files. Also, I’m responsible to place water bottles in the hearing room.

There were absent people and I met my neighbour, a nice girl that described herself as a “happy person who wanted to make happy to anyone”. At that point I just contacted my ex college and I was crying. I wanted to quit, I wanted to leave and go home.  She phoned me cheering me up, what a fantastic friend I have now. Minutes later she send me the internal website to apply internally. But I need an ID that only Inhuman Resources can give you. Also I needed it to send my cheque for my direct deposit…I wanted my money and my ID federal number. After sending a couple of emails the right person sent my a message to meet her. This office is so small that the payroll will be done next week, so, this is so weird…but I feel so miserable.

I was the assistant of an important director, now I just make copies, tons of copies. I’m reading my cards, my ex college tells me I will leave very soon that place, my friend in Germany, who reads the cards says the same.

I just want to cry.


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