As part of my moving, that was 6 months ago, I’ll make an evaluation of my 2009 year.
Moving was the most difficult decision I made. Going to an unknow place with unknow people made it scary and an a suicidal decision, but I don’t regret it. Looking for a job was a heavy job itself but after 4 moths of trying I got it. My landlord is fantastic, till now. But I confess I’d like to move into a bigger place and in Ottawa, for the moment is impossible due to my job. Well, in fact, in a couple of months, less than 1, my contract will finish. I’m very tired about the idea to look for another thing after. I applied for a permament job several times and I think I’m in a pool but this holidays are stopped all the movement in the process. The process is also in slow motion.
Material things?: I got my citizenship, I got my driving license, I got my own appartment, I’m still alone but it doesn’t matter too much since I got the idea I’ll be like that for a while, problably some years more. Friends? Not really, in fact, since I moved and I was alone all the time, biking and discovering the city by myself my mental health goes well. I met some people but after spending time with them I prefered to return to my isolated world.
I need to concetrate in my work future.
Things to do for 2010: the very first thing to do is to get my passport, save enough money to buy a second hand car and the job. Enjoy a bit of life in the lesbian landscape. I ‘m totally scared to see or meet my ex girlfriend. I got mixed emotions about her. Does she miss me? Does she hate me? Is she using my personl stuff she’s keeping with her? Does she think I’m her worst ex? How will be if I get a new girlfriend? I need to push myself to do activities and stop using internet to meet crazy people.
Regarding my German friend, she’s right now living a happy love story with her boyfriend, so it means more time alone for me. I was thinking of my dad today. I talked to him, he’s doing well but there’s something it bothers me, I’m not sure is his lack of interest to pay a doctor for a medical check or me, who has no more patience about this situation.
My best friend Étienne is still in Cuba having….i guess fun with his girlfriend, I miss him, but his answers everytime I ask him about no matter what makes feel even lost.
Resolution of the year, meeting girls? It should be a job and a car