When I came to the 8th floor of the Federal Complex building in the heart of the Montreal downtown, I saw the reception closed. It was 7.40 I didn’t see anyone till 7.45. I just said to every single person who showed up “good morning”. I was nervous and I was worried of my new boss. I was hoping to have a man and not a woman as boss. I waited again, it was almost 8 am. and a big fat black woman came to me and said “Diana?”. I smiled confused and nervously, I just said “yes” and we shake hands.
As the reception was closed I thought she wanted me there in a couple of minutes but instead of that she showed the door and just a few meters away she told me that my workstation was there. It’s a very federal place. Grey coloured and shared with other 3 people.
My college Suzanne is older, smoker and nice. She is just behind, well, our backs look each other. On the other side is Chetra, a girl who was born here in Canada but her parents are from Cambodia. And next to her is Zeinul, a woman from an Arabian country. She has a strong French accent.
Since the beginning I was eager to learn everything about the services of our unit. I think the strangest thing I felt was when my boss introduced to me to every single person on the floor; from the big boss till the IT service members. I met all the advisors, all the human resource staff, the psychologies etc. etc. etc. It was the first time in the office and I was already lost. My boss was very gentle; I guess is because she’s pregnant. Who knows?
Suzanne showed my job, spelling in the importance of precision and verification of all the candidates’ scores. It was great to do some data entry. And when I was free I was always asking her “Can I do something for you?” She found that very nice of me. I don’t know, for me is normal, I like helping people; especially my colleges.
In two weeks my boss told me I worked very well and I like her I guess. She asked me if I applied to the federal commission, I was honest, I said yes but till know I haven’t been lucky lately. Maybe this year.
There’s an advisor I love, but she’s married…anyway, the beauty is for being seen and not touched. I was thinking it’s been a long time since I thought about love. I confess my libido is quite dead since all my interview stress and other things took the place in my mind and body. I think is the reason why I’m having white hair.
I was hired for working 4 weeks. I was forgotten when my ex boss Jean did everything to keep me in at the Board. It’s been a long time since I felt fine and appreciated.
Sometimes I wish I could see the future, or at least, if I could skip the present to avoid all the pain of memories and incertitude around my life. I wish I could be able to drink a beer and say to the world “everything is going to be fine”.
Maybe I should think about tomorrow and not about past tomorrow.