Diane and Carole

Many of my lesbians acquaintances are ex heteros. At the Lesbian Solidarity Center, one of the women contacted me with a retired ex union leader who lives in Gatineau. I went 4 times last January but I wasn’t able to find meet her because she was always busy. Yes, a retired woman and busy. How come? Last Tuesday I met her in person.

After my interview at the Tribunal I called her and we fixed an appointment. We met at Wellington Street, the main street in the downtown. She came with her girlfriend they’ve been together for 16 years. Diane, is an ex hetero. She had 3 boys, one of them of my age and coincidently, he lives near me.

Diane does many country activities like biking, canoeing, camping, traveling abroad, going to restaurants, doing activities with other lesbians and so on. When I think of my father who’s almost 75 and I look at Diane with almost 60, I can’t help thinking of how important is for the Quebecquers get older in shape. Diane is in a good shape, always walking fast, dressed as she wanted to be outside and never at home. Diane is taller than me and her girlfriend too. They both were teachers and met in a school.

I asked to show me Gatineau. All the times I’ve been in Ottawa-Gatineau was or in the Fall or in the Winter. It was always dark at 4 pm. And the only way I know perfectly is from the bus station to the downtown. He had a tea near the Byward Market, where Barack Obama ate at castor’s tail (a very sweet Canadian dessert) and I talked a bit of my life and the bitch. And of course, they talked to me about themselves. After that we jumped into their car and I had a city tour. They showed me the old Hull, an important city which was incorporated to Gatineau. They showed me all the interesting spots in town and finally we ate a burger in a 60’s look  like restaurant. The city tour finished almost at 7.30 and they drove me to the bus station.

It was great to see and feel hospitality in an unknown town with unknown people. I hope I gave them a good impression. I suspect I’ll need their help someday.

I was tired and I was lucky the bus didn’t stop at the airport. I slept a bit which I do rarely because I never felt comfortable in a bus. I arrived at home almost at 11 pm. I was almost dead and my cat Lima was happy to see me. I changed my clothes and I went to sleep. What I dreamt was bizarre. I dream of my ex. I think in all the time we’ve been together I dreamt of her less than 10 times. The feeling I had was nostalgia. I realized when the girls showed me Gatineau we passed near her street, that’s why I had that dream. When I woke up in the morning I had the sensation of soreness.

It’s hard to be alone but it’s harder to realize you’ve been always alone with someone for many years and you forgot yourself in the name of love.

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