Stories of Cancer III

When I was looking for a room, I remember I was almost sick. I was so nervous and desperate because I didn’t find anything. The real problem wasn’t me but was Lima, my cat. At the time, I didn’t have neither internet nor home telephone. I was working and after arriving I had to do my research in a coffee internet place, in the downtown.

limaystephIt was almost 2 weeks left before my deadline came to when I found and ad. It said they wanted a worker over 30 years old. So, I wrote to the person asking him if they didn’t mind a cat with me. After a couple of hours, the person answered me saying it was ok. So after I’d threw up I went to the place, which it was in front of my apartment’s room. That’s the first time I met Stéphane.

He opened the door and told me “There’re 35 steps”. That means…3rd floor. I climbed stoically. When I arrived we shook hands, he had a beautiful and transparent smile. That inspired confidence on me. I visited the apartment, it was amazing. I saw my future room I didn’t believe it. It was huge, illuminated, with some furniture and a big window just in front of the most important avenue in Montreal: Saint-Laurent.

The first impression I got from the place was…”my God, this apartment has been decorated by a gay”. It’s beautiful and clean. For the price, I got my room, internet, telephone, cable, washing and dryer machine. When I asked Steph about the other roommates he told me they were French. In that moment my face changed…I was a bit stressed. Well, stressed to find a room and stressed to find one with French people. I told him I’d called him later. I wasn’t sure if I should take it or not.stephane2

I came back to my old and tiny room and I said to myself “ok, it’s only temporary, for the price and the location it was a deal”. It’s the first time I chose a room for me. The other times I chose because of Lima.

My best friend helped me for moving. It was him who told me Steph looked gay. When I moved I paid to Christophe, the main roommate. I don’t know why but I tried to be honest with myself. I felt confident with Steph and I told him that my ex was not a boy but a girl. I told him I was gay. He said “I knew it”. What a surprised. I told him about my break-up, my ex, my lost belongings and etc. He told me the most important thing in live is happiness and that my belongings were only material things. Anyway, Steph confessed me soon after he had cancer, something in his intestines, maybe in the colon, I guess. And he didn’t want to have chemotherapy. “I’m ready to die”. I never understood what the real reason to avoid treatment was. We always have problems in the bathroom. Because of his illness, he uses industrial quantities of toilet paper.

As a good gay, he loves Christophe, but in a healthy way. The problem is Chris’ girlfriend is jealous of him. Sometimes I see Steph cooking for him, ironing for him, washing his cloths and preparing other personal things. Something that his girlfriend never has done. Sometimes Steph complains about her like a second best girlfriend. Christopher’s girlfriend is a control freak, and she freaks out when Steph is always there, in the apartment, touching his things. You see, there’s all sorts of manipulations between people no matter your sexual orientation.

Anyway, gay love, big drama. Especially, if a gay loves a hetero.

Stephane is tall and fat. When I hugged him I could hardly reach my own hands around him. It has been 5 months since I moved, and now when I hug him I reach more than my hands, I’d say, I can reach my wrists.

Sometimes Steph is worse than a woman. It’s funny, he cries, he freaks out, he’s scared of many things but he’s kind and nice.  He has an esoteric side. And as he told me once “we’re only on earth just as passengers”. Like Diane.

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