I went to the office as usual. For being January the 2, there were only 6 employees in the office. I gave to my boss my transcriptions I did and she asked “did you have a nice Christmas?” I said “yes”. She replied “you don’t look so convinced”. I said I was alone in the country, after my separation and all my family was in Peru. She said “you are alone? It must be hard”. “How did you come to country?” Funny thing, all the questions I was expecting in the Christmas party were made by me boss.
After that we took a break and we went outside the building because she smokes (like all my bosses I worked with). We talked about the office, the government and other things. She invited me a coffee. Yes, it was a long, very long break. She told me sometimes she doesn’t understand me not because of my accent but I said something but I don’t make the connection. I said I pass many time alone, that, in fact, I want to be isolated. She told me I shouldn’t do that. “What is you sign”. I said “Taurus”. “You shouldn’t be alone”.
We sat in a small table and she told me her cousin (and 8 or 10 people) went to Peru because of his marriage. Yes, his wife was a Peruvian. And she asked if I came from a rural zone because “you are tomboy, the way you walk”. I said “from the capital”. I thought you came from a rural zone because life must be hard”. I said to myself. “Ok, I’ll say the truth; anyway, my contract will finish in January the 9”. I said I was gay. “so the guy you were talking about was in fact a girl, right?” She moved her head like saying “it isn’t a big deal”. “you don’t have to be afraid, there are many gay people in the office, I think the vice president is gay”. I said I was scared to say openly my sexual orientation. She laughed and added “so, a Quebequer girl flushed you and put you in deep shit”. I laughed with her. She was very funny.
I confess her that my ex lied in her resume and got a good job in Ottawa. I said “I don’t believe in justice, I believe in Santa Claus”. She said sooner or later they will discover everything. I asked her “What do you do who people like that?”. “We put them on the kerb; I saw many fired because they weren’t able to do the job”. We went back to the office and gave me another transcription to do.
It was weird what I had in front of me. The file of a girl from US. A young, lesbian, dyke who wanted to go to college to study photography (just like me when I was younger) but because for economical reasons went to the army. Of course, her life was a hell there. She was beaten, insulted threatened etc. etc. etc.
While I was typing, all her experiences made me remind my younger dyke life and all I had to go trough. The violence we are expose to, the doctors who threatened us as we had a «mental disorder” and the infamous policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” in the army. She was lucky to be alive, just that, alive. Because she was in Texas and South Caroline, the worsens places to be a lesbian. There is another creepy coincidence, Barry Winchell went to the same place. He was murdered because he was gay.
I wasn’t able to believe that some minutes ago I said to my superior that I was gay, with 3 years in the country, alone, fighting for finding a good job and now I’m typing the decision of a dyke. I’m beginning to believe in synchronicity.
Canada refused her claim of refugee status. A Court Martial is waiting for her.
P.S. I can’t, I can’t with the dashboard.