Down, going down

You know what is the worst when you are alone and when you want to talk, I mean, when you want to talk about the deepest things hidden in your heart. When you want to understand or when you want to know the answers. I’m taking about two things, my ex and my loneliness. Since a couple of days I feel totally depressed. After Christmas, my first alone in this country (well, I was with a turkey and a roommate). The first question is…does she think about me? I mean, sometimes? After 8 years? After of that well we lived together? The cerebral answer is : Don’t be stupid, get over it. But I can. After 6 months I can’t. You know, she has a master degree. You know you have to write a thesis. She lied, she invented all the situations. Now, she has to send her Ph thesis. Doing the same thing. My best friend asked me  “do you want revenge?”. I was shocked…finally, I must accept that yes. Well, I don’t believe in justice I believe in Santa Claus.

Do you know what is the most disgusting thing?  How come people who lies, who denies, who can be able to sell themselves can reach high positions? Have great and incredible salaries and honest people living in real deep shit? Like me or you, who is reading my lines. I’m still in my phase ” why me”.

Or maybe is the panic to see coming new things is my life.

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